


Coming to Terms

by mithrel



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Episode Related, Gen, Light Angst, Mentions of Coran - Freeform, Mentions of Krolia - Freeform, Mentions of Other Voltron Paladins, Post-Season/Series 06, Self-Indulgent, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-24 03:24:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14946677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: When he wakes up, things are different.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I came up with this last night when I should have been sleeping, based on a couple of comments I saw on tumblr, then vomited it out this morning and it ended up a lot longer than I expected.

When he wakes up, he’s in Keith’s arms, with Allura hovering over him and the other Paladins in the background.

“You found me.”

Keith’s eyes are the softest he’s ever seen them. “We’re glad you’re back, Shiro.”

“Rest,” Allura says, and his eyes slip closed again.

***

When he wakes up, it’s to darkness and silence. He can’t move. Since he never expected to wake up at all, this is something. _Is this hell? ___

____

____

**WHAT.**

The thought is loud, and he would have clapped his hands to his head if he’d had hands. Or a head. 

_W-who?_

There’s a sudden surge of panic, and on it are borne flashes of the Galra prison, all the times he ( _not he_ ) woke up from nightmares, all the flashbacks he had. 

He’s swept away by it for a moment, then manages to force some distance. _Who are you?_

The answer, when it comes, is suspicious. _I’m Shiro. Who are_ you? 

_I…I’m Shiro, too. Or at least, I was… ___

____

____

Something ruthlessly takes hold of him then, scrolling through his memories, from the time he woke up in the Galra prison to when Keith cut off his arm. 

_You’re the clone._ He flinches back at the cold rage in that thought. _What are you doing here?_

____

____

_I…don’t know. The last thing I remember is– ___

____

____

_The last thing_ I _remember is flying away from the Castle of Lions. I don’t know how I got my body back._

 _Unless it wasn’t_ your _body._

Slowly, they piece it together. Someone, probably Allura, had transferred Shiro’s spirit from the Lion into the body of the clone. But the clone’s own personality was still there. 

_You rigged the castle to explode. You tried to kill Keith._

_NO! I…I would never! Haggar made me, I didn’t want–_

_You’re_ LYING! 

_How is it even possible to lie like this? I…I liked being you. That’s why I fought Haggar off for so long…_

No response. 

_Please…it’s so dark. I can’t see anything._

_That’s because I have you walled off from any possible control._

_It’s so dark…_ He flashes to all the times he ( _not he_ ) woke up alone in darkness, sweating and shaking. 

Almost, there’s a twinge of sympathy, and suddenly he can see again. 

There’s no sound, and he can’t move anything but his eyes, but he can see. 

He’s in the back of the Black Lion. Keith and Krolia are sitting in the cockpit. 

_God, Keith, I have to tell him…_

_Absolutely not. You are not telling him ANYTHING until we figure this out._

His memories are brought up again, slower, almost in real-time, examined for every thought, emotion or treacherous word. He could try to fight it, but he’s so _tired_ of fighting. 

_You…you got better. After the game with the others._

_I told you, I liked being you. I didn’t want to lose it._

_Did you really want to be a paladin?_

The words strike at something soft in his core. _Yes. At that point I didn’t realize what was going on, but being a paladin was…really important._

There’s no response from Shiro for a long time. 

***

Shiro doesn’t trust him, he knows that. He wouldn’t trust himself in this situation either…which he guesses is pretty much what’s happening. 

But he leaves him in control of his eyes, so he’s not stranded in the dark. That’s something. 

***

About a week after he woke up again, Shiro sits him down next to Keith. 

“Are you alright, Shiro? You’ve been quiet.”

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” 

Keith nods. “I think we all have.” He swipes a hand through his hair. “You excited about going back to Earth? You didn’t exactly get to spend a lot of time there last visit.” 

The corner of his mouth twitches up sardonically. “I’m not sure what to feel.” 

They sit in silence for a moment, then Shiro speaks again. “Keith, there’s something you need to know…about the transference.” 

Keith’s eyes snap over, a flicker of panic quickly repressed. “What is it? Are you alright? Were there after-effects?” 

“You could say that.” Shiro takes a deep breath. “Keith, when Allura put me in this body…it wasn’t empty.” 

Keith’s eyes widen. “You mean the clone’s still in there?” 

Shiro nods. “I’ve got him locked down, for now, but yes, he’s still in here.” 

“You need to tell Allura! She can do something, get him out of there–“

“I’m not sure I want to do that.” 

“What are you _talking_ about, he’s dangerous, he tried to kill us!” 

“Not by choice.” That’s more than he’d ever expected from Shiro. “You need to talk to him, Keith.” 

“I have nothing to say to him.” 

“Then just listen. Please. For me?” 

Keith heaves a deep sigh and growls, clutching his hair. “Alright. For a minute.” 

_Talk to him._ And suddenly his mouth’s free. 

He has no idea what to say. “Keith, I…I am _so_ sorry. I didn’t mean to–“

“Didn’t mean to what? Sabotage the castle? Lure me into a trap and try to kill me?” 

There’s no trace of the man who pleaded with him on the platform. And why should there be? Keith’s got _his_ Shiro, the real Shiro, back. He’s just surplus. “I just wanted to apologize, and…”

“And get what? Absolution? Well, I’m not forgiving you! You’re nothing but a Galra agent!" 

Shiro takes over his mouth again. “Keith, you need to give him a chance…”

“No! No, Shiro! Not even for you!” And Keith gets up and stalks away from the campfire. 

***

They still haven’t decided how they’re going to cope going forward. 

_As I see it, we’ve got two options. We continue like this, with two personalities in one body, in which case we need to establish some boundaries, or…_

He doesn’t like the sound of that hesitation. _Or…?_

_Or we could combine into one._

The momentary desire for oblivion is subsumed by a bone-deep dread. Shiro’s the complete person, the _real_ person, he’s the one who would end up in control, just with an extra set of memories…

A mental sigh. _Continue like this, then. At least for now._

***

They talk to Allura next, in the hope that she’ll know what they should do, but when they’ve explained, she’s at a loss. 

“I…Shiro, I never thought this would happen. I have no idea how to proceed.” 

“Thank you, Princess. We’re just trying to look at all the possibilities.” 

“Could Pidge make another body for him?” 

Shiro shakes his head. “That’s beyond even Pidge, especially now that we’ve lost the Castle.” 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be of more help.” 

Shiro makes a one-armed shrug. “We’ll figure something out.” 

“Have you told anyone else?” 

“Just Keith. He…didn’t take it well.” 

“I do think you should tell the others.” 

“We will. We were just waiting until we got things somewhat figured out.” 

***

Shiro calls a meeting the next time they land to resupply. Most of the others look curious, Allura encouraging. Keith won’t look at him at all, his thumb absentmindedly tracing the scar on his face. 

He’s glad Shiro is the one who’s explaining this. They’re more apt to listen to him. 

“I called this meeting because there’s something I have to tell you. I want to thank you all, especially Allura, for your efforts at getting me restored.” 

Keith kicks at the gravel. 

“But there were more than physical effects.” 

Shiro stops, marshalling his thoughts. 

“The clone isn’t dead.” 

He shouldn’t have phrased it that way. Immediately Krolia and Coran take defensive positions and Lance, Pidge and Hunk draw their bayards. Romelle just looks bewildered. 

Shiro holds up a hand. “He’s neutralized, for now, and I believe he regrets what he’s done. But he’s sharing my mind.” 

“Wait, there are two of you?” Pidge demands, and Shiro nods. 

“When Allura transferred my consciousness, the clone consciousness was still there. So now there’s two of us.” 

“If the clone really isn’t dead, he can take over again,” Lance spits out. “How can we trust you?” 

He makes a mental signal, and Shiro turns control over so he can speak. “You shouldn’t.” 

They all blink at this. 

“You’ve got no reason to trust me, not after what I’ve done, but I only have control when Shiro allows it.” 

“Wait, so you’re him?” Hunk asks, pointing in confusion. 

“I’m him.” 

“You need a name,” Pidge says. “We can’t just keep calling you ‘him.’” 

It’s his turn to blink. He’s never had a name. After he was Shiro, there was no need for a name, since they knew who they were. 

“Why bother naming it?” 

“Keith…”

“No, Pidge, I’m serious. Have you all forgotten what it did? We should be trying to figure out how to get rid of it!” 

He winces. Apparently he no longer even merits a “him” from Keith. 

“He has just as much right to exist as any of us do!” Allura comes unexpectedly to his defense. “He didn’t ask to be Haggar’s puppet!” 

“Allura!” 

“ _No,_ Keith. I sought the secrets of life. I will not end it.” 

He feels tears come to his eyes and blinks them back. 

“Um…if I may?” 

They all turn to Coran. 

“Shiro says he trusts him. Haven’t we known Shiro long enough to trust his judgement?” 

“He could be fooled!” 

“I dunno, Keith,” Lance speaks up. “I mean, they’re mentally connected. You know what that’s like, how it’s impossible to keep your secrets from coming to the surface.” 

Keith grinds his teeth and looks at Krolia. She spreads her hands. 

“I don’t know Shiro as well as the rest of you. I don’t think I should be involved in this.” 

Keith casts a rock away from the fire and rises, stalking off into the night, his wolf padding after him. 

Lance starts to follow him, but Krolia motions him down. “Let him go. He needs time.” 

They converge on him then, asking questions, and although Lance in particular seems a bit skeptical, they’re not acting like he’s their enemy. 

He glances toward where Keith had gone. 

Most of them. 

***

He rides with Lance the next day. Now that everyone knows, Keith refuses to carry him anymore. He doesn’t know if he’s relieved to be spared the icy silences, or miserable at how his chances to gain Keith’s trust keep sinking. Mostly miserable, he decides. 

“Hey, uh, sorry about the whole thing with Keith.” 

“Thanks, Lance.” 

They’ve been sharing control now, at least of the mouth. It might get confusing in the future, but since neither of them has been talking much, the issue hasn’t come up. 

“And I’m sorry…about not realizing what you were trying to tell me.” 

He looks over in surprise. He can’t see Lance’s face clearly through the helmet, but his voice is shaking. 

Shiro puts a hand on his arm. “It’s not your fault, Lance. There wasn’t enough time, and the connection wasn’t strong enough.” 

“Still, I should have _known._ ”

Shiro reaches over, takes off Lance’s helmet and puts his arm around him. 

For a moment Lance is stiff, then he clings to Shiro, his shoulders shaking. 

He feels like an intruder. 

***

Most of them have accepted him by now, but Keith still refuses to speak to him. 

They’ve decided on the name “Kuron” for him, and though he might not be 100% comfortable with the reductionism, he can’t deny its accuracy. 

_Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?_ Kuron asks, staring at Keith on the opposite side of the fire, as far away from him as possible. 

_I don’t know. Keith can be stubborn._

_If only there were some way to_ prove _to him that I don’t mean any harm._

_…Maybe there is._

And it’s such a brilliant idea, Kuron doesn’t know how they didn’t think of it before. 

Now if only they can get Keith to agree to it. 

***

“Keith.” 

“I don’t want to talk to you!” 

“Keith, it’s me, Shiro.” 

“I don’t care!” 

They both flinch at that. 

Keith must have seen their expression, because for the first time he looks something other than angry. 

“Dammit, Shiro, can’t you see how impossible this is for me?!” The betrayal and hurt in his voice hit them both like a blow. “I love you. And I hate _him_ and…” Keith knuckles across his eyes. 

“I know, Keith.” 

“What am I supposed to do?” A broken whisper. 

“We might have a way to prove to you that he means no harm.” 

“…What way?” 

***

They sit in the Black Lion. Kuron’s not sure if this will work. Keith and Shiro both have strong connections to the Black Lion, but his own is more tenuous. He thinks the only reason the Lion let him in in the first place was because Shiro was with her and knew that if she didn’t, people would die. 

After a long moment, he manages to materialize in the Void. Everything’s hazy. Keith and Shiro are already there. 

Kuron steps toward Keith, who takes a step back. Shiro takes his elbow reassuringly. 

Kuron reaches out his hand, and although Keith goes tense, he allows him to put a hand on his face. 

He does the same kind of intimate memory review he did with Shiro, only condensed. 

Keith reels back, his eyes wide. Shiro puts out an arm to steady him. 

“You…you…!”

Kuron stares at him, waiting for the axe to fall. 

“I-I need time to process this,” Keith stammers, and disappears. 

He exchanges a look with Shiro, who shrugs. 

Now all they can do is wait. 

***

Keith still hasn’t said anything to him, but he’s letting them ride in the Black Lion again, which is a good sign. Krolia is riding with Pidge, which could also be a good sign, or a very, very bad one. 

About two hours into their flight, Keith gets up from the cockpit and sits down in the hold. 

“I…look, I’m not…this isn’t…” He grits his teeth and then spits out “I don’t _like_ you!” 

Kuron nods. He’ll just have to find some way to deal with it. He feels worse for Shiro, to be honest. 

“I don’t like you,” Keith repeats. “But I believe you.” 

It takes Kuron a moment to realize what he said. “I…that’s all I can ask.” 

Keith nods, claps him on the shoulder and returns to the cockpit. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuron doesn't speak when they're alone with Keith.

They use the trip to Earth to heal, and to mourn. They’re all mourning the loss of the Castle of Lions. Allura is mourning the person she thought Lotor was. And Kuron is mourning a relationship he never really had.

Shiro spends his time with Pidge and Hunk, going over plans for a new arm, or with Lance, talking about the people they left behind on Earth. Kuron spars with Krolia whenever they land to resupply, since not only is she the only one to never treat him like a bomb about to go off, she spent their first session ascertaining his limits and ever since has been working ruthlessly to push him past them.

Keith’s not the most demonstrative person, but Shiro was always an exception. But now Keith’s keeping his distance, avoiding physical contact like it will hurt him.

The only time he speaks in Keith’s presence is when there are others there too, in deference to the fact that Keith still doesn’t know quite how to treat him. He knows it’s not fair. Kuron has memories of Keith going back to the time when a scrawny eleven-year-old tried to pick a fight with him as he was walking past the group home. Keith has memories of him for less than two years, much of which he was away with the Blades. That would cause problems even without everything else.

Keith breaks off what he was saying and looks into Shiro’s eyes with an intent yet unfocused stare, like he’s looking past him. “Was any of it real?”

Kuron blinks at Keith suddenly speaking to him, but answers. “All of it. Except what Haggar made me do.”

“And that was?”

Kuron casts his mind over the past months, analyzing. “Not much, really. In the beginning she was content to observe. She made me bring Lotor to the Kral Zera and…well you know the rest.”

Keith nods, looking thoughtful, then he puts a hand on their shoulder. Kuron puts a hand up to cover it and closes his eyes.

He doesn’t ask who this is for. If he doesn’t ask he can pretend, just for a moment, that it’s for him and not Shiro.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you don't ask him, I will.

Things are good now, between them and Keith. Kuron is perfectly, absolutely happy, without the smallest iota of himself possibly wishing for anything more from Keith.

But Shiro won’t stop harping at him.

_You should ask him._

Kuron sighs. _I don’t_ need _to ask him. I know why he did it._

 _Why did he do it?_ Shiro says, as if they haven’t had this exact same conversation dozens of times.

Kuron sighs and repeats himself again. _Because you were stuck in the Black Lion and needed a body._

 _Bullshit,_ Shiro says, and Kuron blinks. Shiro hardly ever swears. _I saw his face, saw the way he looked at you. He wasn’t even thinking about me in that moment, much less using your body as a vessel._

Kuron refuses to believe it. The only reason Keith saved him was because he was useful to help Shiro.

_If you won’t ask him, I will._

Kuron tries to take control of the body, but Shiro’s always had the stronger will, and all he can do is the mental equivalent of beating his hands ineffectually at Shiro’s wrists.

Shiro walks through the camp until he finds Keith, sitting on a rock outcrop with his wolf.

“Keith.”

Keith looks over and smiles. “Shiro.” The others sometimes have trouble distinguishing them, but Keith never does.

“I need to ask you something.”

Keith motions for Shiro to sit beside him. “What is it?”

“Why did you save Kuron?”

Keith’s face goes white. “Does it matter?”

“Yes. You might have saved yourself if you had let him go.”

“I couldn’t.”

“Why?”

Keith’s face is twisted with emotion. “He…I…”

“ _WHY?!_ ” Kuron rips control from Shiro, suddenly desperate to hear the truth, even if he already knows it.

“You were Shiro. You weren’t evil. Nothing in Shiro can be evil.”

Kuron closes his eyes, regretting the confirmation of everything he’s suspected. Keith hadn’t saved _him,_ he’d saved Shiro.

But Keith’s not finished. “I knew you, because I knew Shiro. Maybe I didn’t know who you were then, but I knew you weren’t evil.”

Kuron opens his eyes at the rawness in Keith’s voice, sees him with tears streaming down him face.

He’s not sure if it’s him or Shiro or both of them, but they hold out their arm and Keith folds into them, burying his face in their shoulder and crying, long, racking sobs that are painful to listen to.

They hold him until the sobs gentle, become something healing rather than hurting, and finally fade away altogether.

Their mission isn’t done yet. They need to travel to Earth, rebuild the Castle of Lions, and defeat the Galra Empire. But somehow, with Keith in his arms, Kuron feels that it all might just be possible.


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, I thought this was done too, but I realized it needed an epilogue.

Shiro’s nagging him again.

Keith has mostly been the one flying Black, although Shiro had sat in the cockpit once and been immediately accepted. Not that there had been any question about that after the Lions’ reaction to his return.

Kuron hasn’t felt Black in his mind since before he went rogue, and he’s been trying to keep from prodding at the emptiness left like the socket from a missing tooth.

_Just do it already._

_No. Black wanted you, not me. I was a poor substitute._

He can feel Shiro’s impatience, but Kuron knows he’s right. Black had let him in enough to prove himself to Keith, and he’s thankful he got that much.

_She saved you and Keith._

_She saved Keith and a body for you._

_What about when you were running out of oxygen in that shuttle?_

_You had something to do with that._

_No, I didn’t. Black did that on her own. I had no idea you were even out there._

He knows better. There might be precedent for a Lion to have two Paladins, but _three_ is stretching credibility.

_You have all my memories, all my instincts. If I’m worthy, you should be too._

Kuron’s had enough. _If I do it, will you leave me alone?_

Shiro’s _Yes_ is insufferably smug.

***

He waits until they’ve landed. He motions Keith to go past him, not wanting anyone to see him fail, but Keith hangs back, his expression quizzical. “Kuron?”

Conceding defeat, Kuron squares his shoulders and walks to the cockpit.

He perches gingerly on the edge of the pilot’s chair, half expecting Black’s alarms to sound at the presence of an imposter.

But there’s silence.

Keith is at his elbow, his expression questioning, but he doesn’t say anything.

With a shaky breath, Kuron reaches out his one remaining hand to the control stick.

He’s expecting, at best, the kind of slow activation of the instrumentation that happened when Black first let him pilot her.

But the moment his fingertips make contact, before he can even grip the stick properly, the Black Lion’s controls hum to life and a presence of _welcome,_ of _acceptance,_ of _love_ fills his mind and soul.

It’s long moments later that he opens his eyes, not realizing he closed them, to tears on his cheeks. Behind the new purring in his mind, he can feel Shiro’s satisfaction, and the pride in Keith’s eyes is like the sun.


End file.
